Whether it was a Personal Insult, an Impersonal Attack, a Part of Collateral Damage, or a Subtle Slight it is Always Important to Learn How to Forgive Someone, Something, or any Institution

In this world, you will soon realize that one needs to turn the other cheek and do it a lot or they will find not doing that will consume them. Forgiveness is a powerful tool, that’s why they say it’s only for the bigger people. Learning how to forgive someone can help us heal from emotional wounds and move forward in life. Whether it’s forgiving someone who has wronged us, or forgiving ourselves for our own mistakes, it can be difficult to let go of hurt and resentment and then have that consume us. However, forgiveness is essential for our own mental and emotional well-being. In this article, we will discuss the steps needed to forgive someone.

Step 1: Acknowledge the Hurt

The first step to forgiveness is acknowledging the hurt that has been done. It’s important to allow yourself to feel the pain and emotions associated with the hurt. Recognizing the impact of the hurt can help you begin the process of letting go.

It is reported by the National Council for Mental Wellbeing that out of the 331.4 million adults in the US, 223.4 million of them have lived through a traumatic event. That’s over 7 out of 10 people or a staggering 70%. Whether we want to admit it or not, the likeliness is that we have some trauma that we are living with. It is either being repressed within us or visible for all to see.

The first step in solving a problem is knowing that it is there

It is not a weakness to know or admit you have a weakness.

Step 2: Identify the Source of the Hurt

The next step is to identify the source of the hurt. Feelings are already hard to process and that’s without trauma influencing them. It can be difficult to exactly pinpoint what the source is or where your trauma stems from. Some signs may include of you having little patience at certain times, some subjects making you tense or seeing a familiar-looking character or someone in a similar job role or title making you anxious.

This is when psychology comes to play and why it is important. Psychology can help you process your emotions, hone your mind to find the root of the issue, turn what you’re feeling into something productive or if it’s an ongoing persistent issue, diagnose you with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD.

Who hurt you and what did they do? Understanding the root cause of the hurt can help you gain perspective and empathy for the person who hurt you. These answers are never easy nor are they simple but they can give you insight into why and how to forgive someone.

Step 3: Choose to Forgive, Forgiveness is a Choice

Once you have a grasp on any and all trauma you have, It’s important to make a conscious decision or an effort to forgive the person who hurt you. This doesn’t mean that you have to forget what happened or pretend that it didn’t hurt. It simply means that you are willing to release the anger and resentment and move forward.

The person who wronged you won’t have all the relief because you’ll get that too. Research points to that people who forgive show a great deal of compassion and get so many benefits. According to John Hopkins, it includes, “lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression, and stress.”

If the person you are choosing to forgive is also someone you may want in your life be sure to be vocal about it. Everyone has their reasons to do something and sometimes they didn’t know if it caused harm to you, communication is very important. With time, you can turn how to forgive them into how to have them in your life.

Step 4: Practice Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, it is close to sympathy but it isn’t quite the same. Remember, sympathy is a passive feelings while empathy are active feelings. Practicing empathy can help you see the situation from the other person’s perspective and understand why they may have acted the way they did. That is no justifiable excuse, of course, but it does give you valuable insight to take a step back.

This can help you let go of anger and resentment and move toward forgiveness. Try to remember this powerful quote:

All the Right reasons all the wrong ways.

It means that someone could’ve had the best intentions at heart but their plan backfired, something went awry or someone took it the wrong way. One example would be how someone doesn’t tell you something so your feelings don’t get hurt.

Step 5: Communicate Your Forgiveness If You Feel Comfortable

You can communicate your forgiveness to the person who hurt you. This can be done in person, over the phone, or in writing. They don’t even have to be present, ever know or even be alive for you to forgive them. It’s important to remember that forgiveness is for your own benefit, not for the benefit of the other person. 

The world cries out for a better more understanding world and more than 60% of Americans state that they would like more forgiveness in their lives with an ever-increasing sentiment in that regard.

If you don’t feel comfortable communicating your forgiveness, that’s okay too. It can be a lifelong process and it should never feel rushed or forced. Go at your pace no matter how slow or fast you think it is.

Step 6: Let Go of the Hurt

Finally, it’s important to let go of the hurt and move forward. This can be difficult, but it’s essential for your own well-being. 

In order to live you must first learn how to forgive, especially yourself. A whopping 85% of people are hard on themselves which stems from low self-esteem. They don’t want to see themselves mess up even though mistakes are a part of this thing we call life. Do not fall into negativity be it yours or anyone else’s. 

You may want to practice mindfulness or meditation to help you let go of negative emotions and focus on the present moment.

So now that we covered the steps on how to forgive someone, why even do it anyway? They wronged you and they must know about it, Right?

Wrong

Not Just How to Forgive Someone But Why?

The Importance of Forgiveness is in a lot of cultures for a reason. Forgiveness has numerous benefits for our mental and emotional well-being. When we hold onto anger and resentment, it can create stress, anxiety, and even physical health problems with mostly us causing the physical harm to ourselves. Forgiveness, on the other hand, can reduce stress and anxiety, improve relationships, and enhance our overall sense of well-being along with self-worth.

Forgiveness can also help us to break free from negative patterns that others or ourselves have entrapped us in and move towards personal growth and development. Some of these negative patterns even go back generations which is then called generational trauma. Essentially an environment made by people for a certain trauma to manifest, fester and grow. Spreading out to even more people.

Holding onto anger and resentment can keep us stuck in a negative mindset and prevent us from moving forward. By practicing forgiveness, we can let go of those negative emotions and open ourselves up to new possibilities and experiences.

Challenges to Forgiveness While forgiveness is important, it’s not always easy to do. There may be several challenges that arise when trying to forgive someone. Some of these challenges may include:

• Lack of empathy:

It can be difficult to practice empathy towards someone who has hurt us. However, without empathy, it can be hard to understand their perspective and let go of anger and resentment.

• Fear of vulnerability: 

Forgiveness can require us to be vulnerable and open ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt again. This can be scary, and it may be difficult to trust the person who hurt us.

• Feeling like it’s unfair: 

Sometimes, it can feel like forgiving someone is letting them off the hook for their actions. However, forgiveness is not about excusing bad behavior, but rather about letting go of negative emotions and moving forward.

• Holding onto a sense of justice: 

Forgiveness may feel like we’re giving up our right to justice or retribution. However, forgiveness is not about letting someone get away with bad behavior, but rather about choosing to let go of negative emotions and move forward in a positive way.

All in all, How to Forgive Someone is Not Just Good for you but Gives More Compassion to the World

In order to overcome these challenges, it may be helpful to seek support from a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend. They can provide guidance and help you navigate the process of forgiveness.

In conclusion, forgiveness is an essential part of personal growth and well-being. While it’s not always easy to do, practicing forgiveness can help us let go of negative emotions, move forward, and open ourselves up to new possibilities and experiences. By acknowledging the hurt, practicing empathy, and letting go of negative emotions, we can find peace and healing.